[urseus]

Since the U.S. says United We Stand, does that offend legless people?
No, they have a slogon UNITED WE STUMP.

If no one buys a ticket to a movie, does the movie still play?
Yes

Are you able to fart in heaven?
The theory of existing in heaven is that you separate from your physical form, so as a spirit you would not have a digestive system.

Why isn't sour cream really sour?
Out of date dairy products are just as hazardous to your health as any spoiled food.

Do they re-use body bags? Or do they throw them away and get new ones? The people using them wouldn’t care anyway?
They are cleaned and reused.

Why isn’t the Q or the Z included on the phone
They are not included as they are rarly used letters

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway?
It is so the patient is relaxed

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
They call 911

Do ducks sneeze?
Yes

Why is that when fish die in water, they float to the top, but when humans die in water, they sink to the bottom?
Humans absorbe water but do not release it as quickly as fish do, as theyre physiology is made for constant water osmosis.

Don’t you find it weird we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?
No. It is the simple rhyme which helps children asign words to tasks.

If Adam and Eve were white why are there black people?
After spreading throught the world into different climats the human body began to be affected by its surroundinds IE eskimos devloping squinty eyes to protect them from the intense reflection off the snow, dark people in sun backed environments.

Why do they call it "morning sickness" in the middle of the afternoon?
[i]Morning sickness is a coloquial term which has become more accpted as an actual term. The real term is nausia.

Did you know there is a page 666 in The Bible?
Yes, its a number just like any other.

If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?
So they can fund charitys they run and general church expenses.

Can vampires donate blood?
If they exisited in the way that fiction dictates they do, yes, but anyone who was the recipient would then become a vampire.

If a fire truck was on its way to a fire and it passes another fire, which fire would it go to?
Which ever it was asined to, as fires are not randomly delt with, rather are assined by a central operator. Another truck would deal with it

If you could walk through the walls, wouldn’t you fall through the floor?
Most likly.

How come when you go in the front door of a church, you are at the back of the church, and if you go in the back door, you would end up in the front of the church?
What?

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
Id say youd get used to it, like in a hot-tub

Why is there an L in NOEL?
Because its prounced NO-EL. Otherwise it would change the word to NOE.

If you eat regular rice crispies with chocolate milk will it taste the same as eating co-co crispies with regular milk?
Most likly not, the different quantities of coco in each in reguards to the ratio of other ingridents would cause a different taste.

Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?
Because you add an S to words when you indicate plurals. 2 Red Bra's etc.

What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
Plastic

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
There is currently no law forcing it.

If they develop a supersonic train, will they give it a whistle?
They would most likly give it some form of Horn to indicate pulling out of a station and for all passengers to finish boarding.

Do fish ever get thirsty?
They are constantly absorbing water and salt thru their gills though osmosis.

Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
You can. It just takes alot of practise. Most cant do it as it fills their sinases and rushes some liquid to the eyes.

If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
No, she would be called "Winner of contest".

If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?
Yes, the surface stops baked or fryed on foods at high temperatires.

Why don't ducks duck when you shoot at them?
Most animals lack the inteligence to recognise a gun, and thus a threat, untill it fires and they are starteled by the loud noise.

On a hamburger bun, why is the top bun always bigger than the bottom one?
When baking, the top of the roll overflows as it expands in the oven.

Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of bad luck when seven is a lucky number??
It is an age old superstision.

Can angels eat devils food cake?
Angels are unable to consume food or drink.

If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
Realising awarness of your own self is one of the main points that makes us human. All things exist like animals, though not all are aware of their own existance in the phylisofical sense.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
Because people are aware of their horrible downturns in life, thus true ignorance is not actually achieved.

Why do the numbers on the phone go one way, but the numbers on the calculator go the other way?
Numbers on a phone are reminisent of the old turnwheel dials, whereas calculator keys are not.

Why do we tie shoes to the back of a car for newly weds?
Also an old tradition most likly to do with giving newly weds gifts such as fine new boots or some such

Is it possible to do stand-up comedy sitting down?
Humour is mostly talking, so as long as the chair does not imped your voice it would be possible.

Is bad a bad word?
In the curse word sense of the word bad no its not.

If dinosaurs had sores.........what would they be called?
Sores

What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
It is a representation of the shape of the garment, the sleeves make it seem like the letter T.

Why does the label on children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when it's for CHILDREN!?
Because adults may also take the drug

Why do they call front seat shotgun?
This is because of the days of carages in the old west, somone drove, the other person was on guard with a shotgun

Why are all farms red?
This is an unfair generalisation

Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
Some still have hair, so they use shampoo. Those who are complelty bald most likly use nothing as there is no hair for dirt and gresse to get trapped in.





ahhhhh i couldnt be fucked doing the rest....work it out for yourselves.



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