Yeah, I had the same issue, so I made my own server. Since on 1.61 there are a lot of dead servers its proper hard to get players on it. So i decided to downgrade to 1.6. A lot more players, there are really good players lurking around every now and then.
You can even do proper clan matches, since there are active clans. There are massive 64 players servers and some 20-40 player servers. So wich ever your choice is.
The community there is nice and warm and if you are looking for challange, you will get one. Most "good" players are using version 1.61 also, the reason they hang around 1.6 so much, is cos more players are tehre.
Yes most of them are a bit noobish and you have to teach them stuff, but its still fun.
Usually the servers do not have any rules, some of them have bunkbuster also disabled (since windows vista + bf42 + bunkbuster = crash every 10 minutes).
If you can downgrade or get 1.6 working with 1.61 then check my server out: -=[dh]=- EndOfDays
if ya kill -=[dh]=-`s easly, dont be fooled, there are 2 groups in that clan
Clans on 1.6: nwo/own, 5kings, alliedhawks, diehard, 42th infantry division, umbrella, evo, was, elstnu, LSSAH, mafia, lsd, USMC.
Just try it out!