The thing is a rather sublime production of Rexxie and GeNOc|DE, their powers combined means... nothing in particular really...but we cannot stress enough that Rexxie's mobile phone was NOT involved in the production of this article.

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"Jebus Flist, what the sam hell happened there?!" Proclaimed Adam as he scrambled to his feet from out of a bush. "I have no idea mate, no idea at all" Responded Espen, who seemed to be upside down in a rubbish bin. The two looked around to find themselves on the coastal inlay of France.



Out from a cloud of smoke stepped none other than Mr Spock. "I can explain that one to you my friends. As you know the Linux dedicated server is still in the beta stages, now you may find this hard to believe but you lagged for about 5 months after you were sipping your tea in your last episode.

"Are you sure Spock? That seems a bit far fetched to me to be honest." Answered Espen.

"Well...come to think of it the only logical explanation for this is that the writer was too damn lazy to..yes so the more logical explanation (so that I can remain in this column) is that you both got incredibly drunk, yes that's it. Or you lagged, either one is good but I must state that the editor of the thing and all related articles of the federal bureau of something or other is not...

".......where did he go?" Said Adam as he looked around.

"Nevermind him, look over there!" Shouted Espen as his dropped his strawberry flavoured yogurt to the ground.

About 145.6 meters shall we say from where the two were standing was a German infantry unit deploying onto a pier from a novelty sized blown up rubber duck type transport vehicle, which has presumably come from the rented IJN Akizuki Class destroyer.

"Owh Christ" Said Adam "What we gonna do Espen?!" Snapped Adam as he grabbed onto Espen's arm

"Get a hold of yourself man!" Shouted Espen as he slapped Adam with a bit of trout (Excuse the IRC reference cough irc.gamesurge.net #bfnation cough)

"We need to get back into the proper war thing that everyone's blabbing on about, we need to get to Africa. Therefore, my good buddy old pal, we need to get on that..." Said Espen as he stopped dead when he saw what was being offloaded from the boat.



"Those sons of bitches, THEY GOT RONALD MCDONALD!" Scorned Espen as he shook his fist in a murderous rage.

The Germans knew exactly what they were doing, if they took out the top men then the armies would crumble...or some shit.

"Did you know Espen that the cheese in McDonalds bounces? I know I know, its hard to believe but it does...I once bounced some so fecking high that it knocked over someone and then yeah and then it did it and the one that was ...that I bounced ...wait..WHO THE SAM HELL IS ROGER MCFONALD?!" Answered Adam, having clearly eaten one too many tooth brushes that faithful day.

"You complete and utter spoon" Replied Espen, placing his hand on his forehead

As the dysfunctional duo were going about their usual crazy business, the Germans led Ronald McDonald to a small thing that looked very similar to that of a pie, but upon closer inspection was in fact a boarded up house with a funny looking door bell on it.

Espen and his slightly rational sidekick Adam went in for a closer look, skipping as they went singing merry little songs only old people know.

"Oh my goodness is that who I think it is?" Said Adam as he peered through on of the windows of the small house

"Good lord, so THAT'S what they're up to..." Muttered Espen as they continued to stare in amazement



"That dastard the colonel has taken Ronald hostage, and is no doubt plotting to ... do something quite terrible with a spoon and Ronald's stripy trousers." Remarked Adam as they continued to stare like two twelve year olds in a girls changing room.

As the two were doing a bit of peeping a German guard came round the corner on a push bike.

"HALTENSTEIN! WAS DO YOUS THINKS YOU ARES DOIN??" Zie...the German shouted.

Adam produced his German dictionary and proceeded to translate the guard's jibba jabba.

"Whats he saying Adam my old table dancer?" Asked Espen, who had just finished a game of battle ships with a neighbouring squirrel

"Well Espen, he's saying something about there not being enough time before the next expansion pack comes out" Replied Adam.

The German, having woken up on the wrong side of bed that day, wasn't having any of it and raised his rifle.

"Looks like this is the end old chum." Murmured Espen as he shined his crocodile leather shoes.

"Indeed, it does look like this time we are well and truly..." Trailed off Adam, as a totally random event which always gets them out of trouble happened.



"Thank goodness that badly drawn house fell on him when it did" Proclaimed Adam, who really looked like he'd seen that kind of thing happen before.

"What the sam hell...where did that..who did...what the... the...WHAT!?!?" Blabbered Espen, who had seemingly shined his shoes too much.

The two were then alerted to a faint whispering in the bushes behind them.

"I told you that would work" A voice said, sounding pleased with themselves

"BAH we should of used my hamburgers" A deeper voice said.

Moments later out stepped a mismatch trio, which revealed to be none other than Grimace, Hamburglar and those stupid bird thing that no one knows the name of.



Queue some stupid heroic music with trumpets and stuff.

"Wow it's the McDonlads crew" Said Adam and Espen in dual stereo.

The three explain to Adam and Espen that Ronald had been swimming when he was captured by the Germans, just off the French coast. They explained that even Ronald and his big red afro were no match for the Germans, who had water pistols.

Adam and Espen then told them what they had seen in the building before they were ambushed by a German guard, which made the trio of shitty food fill with rage.

"We need a plan fellas, to over throw that evil bast the Colonel!" Remarked Hamburglar who appeared to have a happy meal box stuck in his teeth.

"Yes, a cunning plan!" Followed on the stupid bird thing.

"A plan so cunning, you heat it at 100 degrees in a washing machine and it wouldn't shrink to a size smaller than a TK's penis" Announced an overly excited Espen, as he stood up on a barrel of apples as if to address the nation.

A sudden gust of wind knocked Espen off his barrel and the five new friends started drawing out their plans in Microsoft Paint, making excellent use of the wide range of facilities for those extra detailed...details.



And so, with the plan completed there was a final run through the details so everything went smoothly.

"I have taken the liberty of naming this plan Operation Save Our National Obese Favouring Afro Bearing Incredibly Tall Childish Hero, or OSONOFABITCH for short. Now then, team A consists of Grimace, Hamburglar and the bird thing and will be positioned here." Espen takes his pointy spick and points to the plan on the chalk board. "Team B will consist of myself, and Adam...who will be of course wearing arm bands throughout the whole ordeal so that he doesn't drown" Espen once again points to the plan. "Now then Adam, over to you for the details" Espen hands Adam the pointy stick, being careful not to puncture his arm bands.

"Thank you old chap. Now then, Team A you will enter the building once myself and Espen have raided Farmer John's fish farm....fish farm, where the hell did that come from? Well, moving swiftly on..you will move in once me and Espen have acquired the equipment we need, which at the moment lists as 3 large trout's, a pack of fish fingers and a fishing net. When we give the signal, you run as fast as you can into the side of the wall of the building, creating a distraction and hopefully a mess. Meanwhile myself and Espen will have sneaked in side with the aid of the trouts and take out any guards with the fish fingers. We will then haul Mr McDonald the hell out of there with our net. Now then, any questions?" Asked Adam, as he jigged up and down in his need to go to the bathroom.

"Yes ..well it's not a question just.." Started Grimace, that fat purple mess.

"Get on with it, im bustin for a piss" Snapped Adam

"This seems EXACTLY like that film Saving Private Ryan, is that where you got the idea from?" Asked Grimace as he hid his copy of readers digest.

"Well damn Grimace, I thought that would have been obvious from when I said about making the large mess..of course that's where we got it from!!" Screamed Adam, who was now standing in a pool of unsettlingly smelly yellow water.

And with that, the teams moved to their positions, doing commando rolls, cartwheels and various other clown like manoeuvres as they went.

Team A reached their destination in good time and waited for Team B to perform their pointless exercise of running about 3 miles around the building in curly lines to reach the fish farm.

"Right lets get those..."

Suddenly, Adam and Espen were right outside the building holding Ronald McDonald, with packs of fish fingers and 3 trouts each.

"What the hell...what the hell happened there??" Asked Adam, who had the fish net on his head.

Out from a cloud of smoke stepped none other than Mr Spock. "I can explain that one to you my friends. As you know the Linux dedicated server has just been released and.."

Spock was stopped in his efforts to explain the terms of events with a swift fish finger to the mouth, by none other than Espen who had been trained in the art of fish finger throwing.

"Sod off Spock" Snarled Espen. As he took out his trumpet to give the signal to Team A, who had now been involved in a high-tension game of twister for the past hour or so.

With the signal given the two teams jumped into action, banging their heads as they did. Suddenly there was a huge explosion just like the movies, where something blows up for no apparent reason and out of the smoke and dust appeared Ronald McDonald carrying his rescuers Adam and Espen in that large net they thought they might need. "Quickly me old cobblers, to the boats!!!!!" Raved Ronald as he did several cartwheels

The friends raced to the docks, with a angry mob of Germans, chickens, hamsters and the KFC colonel in hot pursuit.

"Which boats yours Ronald?" Asked Adam

There was a brief moment of silence, as Adam's stupidity was unveiled



The silence was short lived as the Germans in pursuit opened fire on the motley crew of fools, and as the McDonalds supports took cover, Espen and Adam had already jumped into the double cheeseburger boat.

"What are you doing?! That's mine!" Shouted Ronald as he threw a cheeseburger at the German troops.

"You can take that one over there!" Said Espen, who pointed towards a cow transporters ship (??!) as they drifted away in the double cheeseburger box

"But that's made of real beef" Trailed off Ronald as the two drifted out of site.

With no navigation equipment, no food, no change of underwear, the two were well on their way to the African battleground and had every intention of helping out their country in this time of peril (without ballsing it up)

"Are you sure this is the way to Africa matey?" Asked Adam who was eating some left over lettuce in the bigmac box.

"Yes I am. You see the sun sets in the east so that means we have to sail that way" Answered Espen, looking at his sundial watch.

"Great! We will be fine once the sun comes up then..." Responded Adam as he slapped his friend on the back.



Until next "week" folks.